Interview With The Fighters!
by Kasanelover
Summary: Questions anyone? Ask'em right here to our favorite Mortal Kombat fighters! Rated M for language and some 'chitty-chitty bang-bang', people!
1. Fighting An Introduction

"Welcom everyone! I am Moon, your furry host and co-host in the famous game 'Utautruth Or Vocadare'. This time, my co-host is the writer of 'Shota And The Beast', 'I'm Pregnant', 'You're Pregnant', you know her as the killer Tedgel, Kasanelover!" Moon explained.

Kasanelover lover walked inside the room with a beautiful blue dress.

"Thank you, Moon. Today, we will be interviewing your fighters from the famous fighting game, Mortal Kombat!" Kasanelover said.

"You're anything but wrong, Kasanelover! Anything but wrong." Moon said.

"I know. You don't need to tell me twice." Kasanelover said.

"Right." Moon said.

"Fighters, come enter the room please!" Kasanelover announced.

All the fighters walked in the room and looked at Moon and Moon only.

"Now _that's_ Mileena's sibling!" Johnny Cage said while pointing at Moon.

"No he isn't!" Mileena said.

"Yeah he is! Look at him. He wears a mask like you, meaning his face was in train wreck like yours, his hair is the same color, his eyes look similar, how could you be denial about this?!" Johnny asked.

"I have no brother!" Mileena replied.

"How do you expect me to believe that when I'm looking at him right now?" Johnny asked.

"I'm not her brother, end of discussion." Moon replied.

"Damn." Johnny said.

"Welcome, fighters!" Kasanelover announced.

"Oh god. What are we here for now?" Jade asked.

"Shut up! You were never here, douche!" Kasanelover replied.

"Okay." Jade said sarcastically.

"You're lucky I have to keep you alive!" Kasanelover said.

"Or what? You'll kill me?" Jade asked.

"She's killed people before." Moon replied.

"Oh really? Tell me all the people she killed in her lifetime." Jade said.

"Let me get the list." Kasanelover said. She skipped out the room.

"Did she just say 'list'?" Jade asked.

"Yup. Soon you will see the people she killed." Moon replied.

Kasanelover skipped back to Moon and handed him the list.

"You put a lock on it." Kasanelover said.

"You never know when someone's gonna try to look at this list." Moon said.

"Where the hell is the lock?!" Jade asked.

"It's invisble." Moon replied while sticking one of his claws inside of the key hole.

"Why?!" Jade asked.

"Because if someone tries to open it, they wouldn't know why it won't open...or something, I don't know." Moon replied.

"Dumbass." Jade said.

"Leave Moon alone, Jade! You're just jealous that he isn't intrested in you!" Kasanelover said.

"As if I even wanted to hug him." Jade said.

"You know you want to." Kasanelover said.

"He looks like he hasn't shaved sense the day he was born." Jade said.

"I have fur, I can't shave it off. And I don't grow under arm or pubic hair so you can forget about saying I should shave in those areas!" Moon said.

"What are you, a hairy mutant?" Jade asked.

"No! I'm immortal blessed with the many ablities of nature and the spirit realm!" Moon replied.

"Okay." Jade said sarcastically.

"Jade, stop talking shit about Moon. Thanks to you, we've gotten nowhere and it's already been half an hour." Kasanelover said.

"What makes you think we give a damn!?" Johnny asked.

Kasanelover used her pychic powers to punch Johnny's stomach.

"Ow!" Johnny said. He fell to the ground.

"You suck!" Kasanelover said.

"Hey! That's my catchphrase!" Shao Khan said.

"Oh I forgot. You suck too!" Kasanelover said.

"I will kill you for that!" Shao Khan said.

"Bring it on, hammer boy!" Kasanelover said. She retracted her claws and lit them on fire.

"Hold it, you two." Moon said. He stood in between Kasanelover and Shao Khan.

"You fool! Why are you standing in between us?!" Shao Khan asked angrily.

"Because we haven't even gotten started on any of the questions and we really have to get started. Plus, you two need to save all that action for later." Moon explained.

"You're right. I can't rush into action packed fights or else nothing action packed would happen later on." Kasanelover said.

"Exactly." Moon said.

"Oh fine. But if she dare uses my catchphrase one more time, I'll smash her head with my hammer!" Shao Khan said.

"In your dreams." Kasanelover said.

Shao Khan glared at Kasanelover and raised his hammer.

"No." Moon said. He put Shao Khan's arm down.

"Gggrrrr...tell your foolish child to stop intimidating me!" Shao Khan said.

"She's not my child, I just took care of her." Moon said.

"Moon can you open the list already?" Kasanelover asked.

"Right." Moon said. He unlocked the list.

The moment the list was unlocked was the moment it unrolled and hit the ground. It then rolled to, on, and over Jade, around Johnny, through the legs of all the fighters but Mileena, and finally stopped directly in front of Mileena's boots. Mileena picked up the end of the list and look at it. She widened her eyes and gasped as she read the names one by one.

"Oh my god." Mileena said. She dropped the list.

"There, does that tell you anything?" Kasanelover asked.

"...fuck off." Jade replied.

"You're just jealous because I killed waaaaayyy more people than you ever did in your lifetime and the fact I did it in 12 years." Kasanelover said.

"I should kill your daughter." Jade said.

"She's not my daughter!" Moon said.

"Yes. She. Is." Johnny said.

"I should kill you." Kasanelover said.

"Try me!" Johnny snapped.

Kasanelover stared at Moon.

"...can I?" Kasanelover asked.

"Go wild." Moon replied.

"Yes!" Kasanelover said. She lunged at Johnny and held her claws up to his throat.

Meat gargled.

"A man with...no way of words." Skarlet said.

"Yeeppp." Moon said.

Meat gargled in confusion.

"What, just because I can cook you, eat you, and bathe in your blood, doesn't mean I ever want to have sex with you or even hold hands with you." Skarlet said.

Meat gargled again.

"Moon, ask some questions!" Kasanelover said.

"Right. Princess Kitana, are you in love with Lui-"

"No." Kitana said instantly.

"Oh...oookaayyy...that was fast...very fast." Moon said.

"I do love the fact that you call me 'Princess' though." Kitana said.

"You're the lovely princess of Edenia, why wouldn't I?" Moon asked.

Kitana blushed.

"AAAAAHHH! SHE'S TRYING TO CUT MY PRECIOUS THROAT OPEN, HELP ME!" Johnny yelled while trying to get away from Kasanelover.

"Nice try, fancy boy!" Kasanelover said. She pounced on Johnny.

"OH DEAR GOD!" Johnny yelled.

"This'll be amusing." Moon said.

"MOON, YOU FUCK FACE, HELP ME!" Johnny yelled.

"Hmm...naaahhh." Moon said.

"Let me watch!" Sonya said. She stood beside Moon and watched Kasanelover and Johnny.

"Babe! Help me!" Johnny begged.

"Stop calling me 'babe' because I'm never going to be your 'babe' and stop hitting on me!" Sonya said.

"But I know you love me!" Johnny said.

"...hurry up and cute his throat open, Kasanelover!" Sonya said.

Kasanelover did as so and pierced her claws into Johnny's neck. She then ran her claws through his tender neck flesh and meat slowly.

"The deed is done!" Kasanelover said innocently with a grin.

"FINALLY!" Sonya yelled.

"Right? Moon, ask another question since...well, you're the host, not me." Kasanelover said.

"Jade, do you love Ku-"

"Hell no." Jade said.

"What?" Kung Lao asked.

"You just got turned down...by a bodyguard." Moon replied.

"Oh snap!" Kasanelover said.

"Do you need me to change, Jade?" Kung Lao asked.

"No." Jade replied.

"Then why don't you love me?!" Kung Lao asked.

"Because I don't." Jade replied.

"Are you a lesbian?" Kung Lao asked.

Jade blushed madly.

"NO!" Jade replied.

"Umm...bi?" Kung Lao asked.

"None of your god damn business." Jade replied.

"...Moon, change me into a girl!" Kung Lao said.

"Nope! Can't do that unless the veiwers want me too!" Moon said.

Kung Lao saw a camera and stared at it. Moments later, he teleported to the camera, grabbed it, and put his face close to it.

"LISTEN TO ME VIEWERS! TELL MOON TO CHANGE ME INTO A GIRL SO I CAN BE WITH JADE!" Kung Lao yelled to the camera.

"Poor camera." Kasanelover said.

"Yeeppp. And poor Kung Lao too." Moon said.

"I think he's lost his freakin' mind." Kasanelover said.

"Nah, he's just lonely like me." Moon said.

"No, he's a lot worst than you. He's so desperate, he wants to be a **girl** just to be with Jade." Kasanelover said.

"Touche..." Moon said.


	2. Fangasming, Fanfighting

Kung Lao still had his face up against the camera from the last segement while the other Kombants, Moon, and Kasanelover were staring at him.

"Poor man..." Kasanelover said.

"Yes." Moon said.

"MOOONNNN! TURN ME INTO A FUCKING GIRL ALREADY!" Kung Lao yelled.

"No." Moon said.

"WHY THE FUCK NOT, MAAANNN?!" Kung Lao asked.

"Because nnoooo." Moon replied.

"No one really cares if you're a girl..." Kasanelover said.

"Why the fuck not?" Kung Lao asked.

"Because if the fucking viewers actually cared about this shit, they would've actually told Moon to change you into a girl." Kasanelover replied.

"...dicks." Kung Lau said. He slid down the camera lens slowly.

"...wow." Moon said.

"MOON, ASK THE NEXT QUESTION." Kasanelover said.

"Right. Hmm...next one is from yet another random viewer for both Scorpion and Subzero." Moon said.

"Those two? Can't wait to hear this one." Jade said.

"Shut up." Kasanelover said.

"Have you ever 'male bonded' with each other? Maybe on a beautiful, crystal clear night, the stars shining directly above both you heads? Relaxing at a beautiful beach together with the ocean tides as calm as they can be?" Moon asked.

"Oh hell no." Subzero replied.

"What the fuck kind of question is that?!" Scorpion asked.

"it's the _asker's_ _question_." Moon replied.

"Who is this 'asker'?" Shao Khan asked.

"Sorry, not allowed to release any identies. For their safety, I can't release any identities _**unless**_ I _know_ you guys won't attack or try to kill them." Moon replied.

"Damnit." Scorpion said.

"I'll _try_ not to kill'em with my awesomeness." Johnny said while flexing his musucles.

"Are we doing this shit again!?" Kasanelover asked.

"Oh nnooo..." Moon said with his voice trailing off, not caring about the situation.

"Fuck you, Moon!" Johnny said.

Kasanelover ran up to Johnny and pounced him. She then held her claws up to his throat and knocked off his sunglasses.

"Ahh! My shades!" Johhny said. He reached for his sunglasses.

Kasanelover stomped on his right forearm to prevent him from grabbing his glasses. Johnny released a yelp and tried to push Kasanelover off but once again failed.

"Goddamnit!" Johnny said.

"Take back what you said!" Kasanelover said.

"No!" Johnny said.

"Take back what you said!" Kasanelover repeated.

"Nnooo!" Johnny said.

"Take back what you said!"

"Nnnnooooo!"

"Take back what you said!"

"NNNNOOOOOOO!" Johnny yelled.

"If you don't take it back, I'll destroy your glasses until they're nothing but debris!" Kasanelover said.

Johnny gasped.

"You wouldn't!" Johnny said.

And sure enough, Kasanelover stood up on Johnny's chest and walked away from him and to his sunglasses. She then picked them up and tried to snap them in half.

"NO WAIT! THAT'S MY ONLY PAIR!" Johnny yelled.

"Take. It. Back. **Now.**" Kasanelover said with a cold tone.

"Fine! I _regretfully_ take it back!" Johnny said.

"Thank you." Kasanelover said. She threw Johnny's glasses at his face.

Surprisingly, they slid right back on his face as if they were never taken off. He stood right back up and resumed flexing his musucles.

"You know you want this, ladies!" Johnny said.

Sonya rolled her eyes and Jade twirled her staff while Mileena aimed a sai at Johnny's head and Kitana stared at Johnny with disgust.

"Even Sindel-no, Shao Khan looks better than that!" Kasanelover said.

"Definetly." All the female kombants said in unison.

"You know, if Johnny can be shirtless around here, why not Moon?" Mileena asked seductively.

"Agreed!" The female kombatants said in unison.

"Ladies, ladies. Nobody has to by shirtless, with the exception of Shao Khan who's too big to find a shirt his size." Moon said.

"HA! So true!" Kasanelover said.

"Silence, you ignorance child!" Shao Khan said.

"Make me, Hammer Bro!" Kasanelover snapped.

Shao Khan stood up and grabbed his hammer. He then ran towards Kasanelover with his hammer in mid air. Kasanelover bared her canines and retracted her claws. Moon rammed into Shao Khan and stood in front of Kasanelover.

"No!" Moon said.

"Move out the way, fool! For I am Shao Khan, Emperor of the Netherealms!" Shao Khan said.

"Emperor my butt." Kasanelover mumbled.

"Both of you stop it. We're still in the beginning so no butt kicking until we get farther into the game. Understand?" Moon asked.

"Fine." Shao Khan and Kasanelover replied in unison with their arms acrossed their chests.

"Thank you." Moon said.

"What's the next question?" Kasanelover asked.

"Well-"

"Nope! Not until you strip!" Sareena said.

"What?" Moon asked.

"You heard us!" Sareena replied.

"Strip!" Kitana said.

"Umm..." Moon said.

"Strip, strip, stip!" The female kombants chanted.

Moon sighed and removed his tie as the a majority of the girls in the room made him take off his clothes for their amusement. As his shirt came off, the girls widened their eyes at the sight of Moon's large pecs and forearms. He looked so flat with his clothes on!

"Holy shit!" Jade said.

Mileena's jaw dropped. Kitana picked Mileena's jaw and rised it so her terrifying mouth could remain closed. Once Moon's entire shirt came off, all the girls gasped in amazement. Moon stared at everyone.

"...what?" Moon asked.

"Moon, you're dead." Kasanelover replied.

"Why would you say such a thing?" Moon asked.

"That's why." Kasanelover replied. She pointed at the female kombants who were running towards Moon.

"AAAHHHHH!" Moon yelled. He ran away as fast as he could from the girls.

The female kombants chased Moon, squealing slightly and saying 'He's mine!' during the whole process.


End file.
